noticing exposure (vulnerability)
DON: “... by following a set of impulses and making some connections or drawing some connections together from seemingly disconnected events – one of which was Keith’s session (1) in fact – I was led to find a picture of Bob Dylan and Allen Ginsberg sitting next to the gravesite of Jack Kerouac. And both because of what the impulses were that led me to that and then the imagery in that, I actually had the impression that that was a message that I was receiving from Vic (2) but a message for Dale, in fact. Is that impression correct or did I distort that?
ELIAS: You are correct.
DON: So that was actually Vic’s energy assisting in finding that picture, and it was a message both for me and for Dale, then?
DON: And that led in turn – this was kind of a combination of impressions that both Dale and I followed – that ended up leading Dale to find the book The Knight in Rusty Armor. (3) She thought that was the ultimate message that Vic had, was for her to find that book. Was that correct?
DON: That was a pretty potent book. I know I’m definitely dealing with my own armoring as I was talking about in different words at the beginning.
Do you have anything to say about this duplicity wave that I feel like I’m in right now?
ELIAS: Express to myself, what are your impressions concerning this action that you are engaging?
DON: My impression is that I have reached a point where if I do not, the duplicity... My duplicity beliefs and my choosing in line with them are no stronger, I think, in the last three weeks than they have ever been generally, but I’ve reached a point where if I don’t start noticing and addressing these I will not be able to ultimately find the freedom of expression that is really my desire, just as you and Keith talked about. So essentially, it’s time to really notice these and it’s time to notice my reticence to let go of them...
DON: ...and to let go of my armor.
DON: The last three weeks have really been... I have been giving myself imagery to really finally notice and know that I need to address these...
DON: ...before further movement can occur.
ELIAS: You are correct. In this, you are generating an experience in similarity to many other individuals, in which you present to yourself an intensity to move your attention and to generate a motivation to be creating an exploration of what you are expressing and what is motivating that, and to express a motivation within yourself to be not merely addressing to this action and the influence of these beliefs, but also offering yourself a genuine recognition of how this hinders your movement and creates obstacles within your experiences and therefore you prevent yourself from accomplishing what you want.
But this is significant also, for as you offer yourself this intensity of these experiences, it becomes quite real, and in that reality, you genuinely move your attention to evaluate what you genuinely desire and recognize what you may be incorporating in your movement to allow you to accomplish actualizing your desire.
I may express to you, you are correct. Your intensity of the expression of duplicity is no greater than it has been pastly, but you are paying attention more now.
DON: So part of my actually noticing this duplicity wave has been noticing more how much I do not pay attention...
DON: ...and then judging that. But in fact, I have been paying more attention lately.
ELIAS: Correct. And in this, you are generating your own version, so to speak, of an exercise that I have offered previously to other individuals, that they may be noticing more clearly the frequency in which they express judgments and also discounting of themselves.
DON: In fact, similar to an exercise you gave Keith. (4)
DON: I felt – we’re really close; he shared his tape with me – I thought that I was subjectively present for much of that session.
ELIAS: Yes, I am aware, and also addressing to similar expressions.
DON: Yes. I’ve been trying to identify why I have held and have chosen to hold on so tightly to my own armor, to my own protections. I have a little trouble with that. It would be easy to say, well, it’s because of fear. It would be easy to say it’s because of duplicity and false pride and judgments, things like I don’t deserve anything different than what I have already generated.
But also, I’ve been trying to think of what maybe my intent has been overall as essence in this dimension, and somehow this idea of self-denial of a certain amount of help or assistance that focuses can avail themselves of has something to do with my particular investigation of separation as essence in this dimension. I wonder what you might comment on that, if that made any sense?
ELIAS: As an offering of your identification of your intent in this focus?
DON: No, more as my intent as essence within this dimension, my overall intent. (Pause)
ELIAS: Generally, although I may also express to you as a general theme in essence, as essence in this physical dimension, you do, in a manner of speaking, lean in the direction of a preference of an exploration of what you may term to be the shadows of experiences. You as essence do incorporate a type of fascination with what you may term to be the darker experiences.
DON: Yes, well, that certainly makes sense.
If I might return to the idea of dropping one’s protections and The Knight in Rusty Armor, Dale had a couple of questions related that I, at least in general, think would be good questions for me, too. One is she wondered if you had an exercise you might offer to help her shed her armor.
ELIAS: Experiment and choose one action intentionally in each day in which you express exposure. It matters not what the choice is or whether you deem it to be large or small, but offer the experience of one expression of exposure in some manner within each day.
DON: And that would be generally applicable for assisting in shedding one’s armor?
ELIAS: Yes.” [session 1213, December 17, 2002]
(1) Paul’s note: Keith's session occurred a week earlier on December 10, 2002.
(2) Paul’s note: Don refers to Vicki Pendley who used to live in Castaic, California but passed away on December 07, 2001 after a sudden illness. Dale is a female friend who lives on the East Coast.
(3) Paul’s note: this book was introduced in March 1998 by Cathy McCallum (Shynla) to several forum members in Castaic, California when she purchased copies for Joanne and myself, David Tate, Vicki Pendley and Ron Churchman, and Mary Ennis. It made an impact on all of us, and we discussed its merits at length. It also showed great initiative on Cathy's part.
(4) Paul’s note: here's the exercise presented to Keith:
Digests – see also: | attention (doing and choosing) | belief systems; an overview | dimension | duplicity | essence; an overview | fear | focus of essence; an overview | imagery | impressions | intents | noticing self | objective/subjective awareness | separation |
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