the Elias forum: “Experience is your best teacher.”










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ELIAS: “I shall express to you this small exercise – which is not so very small – to be recognizing each time you are experiencing the first twinges of guilt, and in those moments express to yourself, ‘Stop!’ Be accepting and recognizing that this expression is inefficient and unnecessary, and once you have expressed this to yourself, reinforce yourself by expressing, ‘I am a worthy, glorious creature!’” [session 351, January 03, 1999]


LEELA: “My next question is about my mother. I will tell you what my own impressions are. I think I have other focuses with her, and that these focuses are very influencing of this focus. I care for her a lot, but I experience emotions towards her that I really don’t understand, one of them being a tremendous feeling of guilt. I think she is of the Vold family, and I think her alignment is Sumari. She is very emotional, and to some extent I can relate to her and to her emotions, but sometimes I really don’t know how to deal with these emotions. I feel like she’s holding me responsible, and that she is blaming me for something. My impulse is to leave her alone because I am so tired of feeling guilty. Can you tell me what is going on?

(Vic’s note: Enter Elias on the subject of guilt. Whew!)

ELIAS: In this, what you are experiencing is, once again, your own lack of acceptance of self, and in this lack of acceptance, you are creating within yourself expectations and the feeling of guilt.

I have expressed many times previous that although there is no expression of actual waste of energy, this one particular expression of energy of guilt moves close to what you may term to be a waste of energy. It is quite inefficient and quite unnecessary. This is an obvious and very strong expression of duplicity.

In this, you accept energy from this individual in validation of your own issues in the area of duplicity. You reinforce your own lack of acceptance of self – AND your lack of acceptance of her – by creating the energy of guilt.

(Intently) Now; in this, as you allow yourself to recognize that each individual – yourself AND your parent – each creates their own reality ... and I express to you that no other individual dictates your reality! Therefore, they do not dictate your choices, your responses, your feelings, your actions, or your behavior. YOU are choosing and creating of all of these elements. In like manner, the other individual is also. In genuinely understanding and accepting this truth that you are creating your reality – ALL of your reality – and other individuals are creating their reality, you may offer yourself the ability to accept the expression of any other individual regardless of the choice of how it shall be expressed ... and also recognize that this does not dictate your reality or your responses!

You are not obligated by another individual to allow penetration of their energy into your energy field. This is not to say that you do not accept their expression, regardless of what it is. You may be quite accepting of their expression, and it matters not, but you do not necessarily need be accepting of the penetration of that energy in the manner that it is expressed. You may accept the energy and reconstruct this energy to be beneficial and lending to your own energy.

Now; I am quite understanding that this is a difficult task to be accomplishing within physical focus, for as another individual approaches you and appears to be hurtful, you move into automatic responses within you.

I express to you: what may be helpful to you, shall you choose to be engaging it, is to be allowing yourself to momentarily stop each time you are experiencing this type of action, and as you notice the experience of hurtfulness or guilt, allow yourself a moment to stop and question what YOU are creating. Recognize that the creation of these emotions are being created by yourself, not by another individual, and why you are accepting their expression – for it is mirroring an element within yourself that you are not accepting and are feeling unworthy within. Are you understanding?

LEELA: Yes. Well, I say I am, but it seems to me that I am not, because sometimes I am, but with my mother ... I indeed find it very difficult to respond. I wish to accept her as she is, but I find it very difficult to....

ELIAS: No, no, no, no, no! Let me repeat. Concentrate your attention upon self first – not projecting your concentration to be accepting of her, but to be accepting of self first – and in that action there shall be created an automatic byproduct, that you shall be accepting of her. But initially, address to self, recognizing that you are accepting of her energy to be reinforcing of areas that you are already not accepting within yourself.

Therefore, if you are wishing to be altering of this situation, your most efficient manner to be altering of this situation is to be addressing to the issue, and the issue is not the other individual! The issue is with the lack of acceptance of self, not the lack of acceptance of the other individual, for this shall automatically follow as an automatic byproduct. As you are not accepting of yourself, you are automatically, as a natural byproduct, also not accepting of her. But as you begin to be accepting of self and addressing to your own issues, you also shall automatically, as a byproduct, begin to be accepting of her. In this, it matters not that her expression alters or changes, for it may not, and this shall not matter, for you shall recognize that you hold the ability to be accepting regardless of her expression. Now are you understanding?

LEELA: Okay, but what is it exactly that I mirror towards her, that I don’t accept in her, that I don’t accept in myself, actually? What issue? Can you give it a name?

ELIAS: This would be the area of personal responsibility. As you project to yourself an inadequacy that you believe you hold within self, you hold this area of personal responsibility.

You hold an expectation of self that you SHOULD hold the ability to be interacting more efficiently, that you SHOULD hold the ability to be a better daughter, that you SHOULD hold the ability to be creating HER reality or influencing her reality to be more joyful, and if you ARE possessing of these abilities to be creating her reality for her more efficiently, you shall be expressing as a ‘better daughter.’ Very incorrect!

You may not create another individual’s reality for them. They create their choices, and it is not your responsibility to be creating their reality. If they are experiencing discontentedness within their focus, this is their creation, not yours. It is their choice, and they hold the ability to alter that choice if they are unhappy with their choices. It is not your responsibility to be creating of their happiness, in your terms.

But within you underlyingly, you hold a very large issue in the area of personal responsibility, that you shall be providing of this individual’s happiness by your actions, and as this is not occurring, you are reinforcing your own issues in inadequacy and lack of worth by expressing to yourself guilt that you have not accomplished efficiently.

I express to you, focus your attention upon self and upon your own acceptance of self, and do not concern yourself with the expression of other individuals ... and be remembering that I hold an awareness of the difficulty in what I am expressing to you!

I am not expressing that I view this to be accomplished with much ease, for these are automatic actions that all of you have created within physical focus. These are very strong belief systems and they hold much energy. Therefore, they are also requiring of much energy and attention to be accepting of them and to be altering of your reality in these actions. I offer to you energy of myself, to be helpful in this area with you and to be encouraging of you.” [session 351, January 03, 1999]

GEORGE: “I’ve got a variation, Elias. If you’re walking down the street in the worst ghetto in town and you believe that you live in a safe universe, then you’re not going to create an encounter like that?

ELIAS: At times. For individuals are not always objectively aware of all of their beliefs, and you may be incorporating conflicting beliefs and once again surprise yourself! (Laughter)

Be remembering, thought does not generate reality. The function of thought is to translate and to interpret communications. It does not precede reality; it does not create reality. This is not its function. You may think and think and think, but this is not to say that you shall manifest what you think, for this is not its function, and therefore it does not generate.

This is also the reason, for the most part, I do not encourage affirmations. At times with particular individuals, temporarily I may encourage an individual to be expressing an affirmation in recognition of a tremendous expression of fear, to allow them the opportunity to focus upon themselves and reinforce themselves in not continuing to discount themselves.

But for the most part I am not encouraging of affirmations, for this merely reinforces your discounting of yourselves. You may express to yourself one thousand times, ‘I am a wonderful individual; I am a glorious creature,’ (laughter) and you shall continue to discount yourself and not reinforce your trust. I have expressed, at times I am encouraging of an affirmation temporarily, but generally speaking this type of action merely reinforces your distrust of yourself, and each time you affirm to yourself that you trust yourself, you are genuinely expressing, ‘I do not trust myself, therefore I must say that I am trusting myself.’” [session 1105, June 08, 2002]

Digests – see also: | accepting self | acceptance 101 | belief systems; an overview | choices/agreements | duplicity | energy fields | focus of essence; an overview | trusting self | you create your reality |

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