the Elias forum: Explore the transcript archive.










Saturday, October 05, 2002

<  Session 1146 (Private/Phone)  >

ďTrapped in a MarriageĒ

Participants: Mary (Michael), Shelley (Bethany) and Ben (Albert).

Elias arrives at 1:31 PM. (Arrival time is 20 seconds.)

ELIAS: Good afternoon!


ELIAS: Welcome!

SHELLEY: Thank you.

ELIAS: How shall we proceed?

SHELLEY: Iím just sort of curious to meet you and see what you have to say. (Elias laughs) Iíve heard a lot about you.

ELIAS: And have you questions?

SHELLEY: Not really, I donít have questions. Iíve talked a lot with Ben about what you have to say and I donít really have questions. It all seems to make sense. Iíd like to know my essence name, first of all, I guess.

ELIAS: Ah, very well. Essence name, Bethany, B-E-T-H-A-N-Y (BETH ah nee).

SHELLEY: And where does that come from, an essence name? What does that...?

ELIAS: It is a tone. It is a partial translation of the tone of your essence.

SHELLEY: Translation of a tone, okay. Iím taking notes. (Elias chuckles) And my family, alignment and orientation and all that?

ELIAS: Essence family, Borledim.

SHELLEY: Wornadeem? Okay, Benís going to take notes for me because he knows what that is.

ELIAS: Alignment, Ilda.

SHELLEY: And the orientation?

ELIAS: Orientation, common.

SHELLEY: What does that mean, common, to be orientation common?

ELIAS: It is a manner of processing. It is the manner in which an individual processes information and what influences the individualís perception in how they create their reality. In a manner of speaking, it may be viewed as the lens in which you view yourself and your world, so to speak, and how you interact with yourself and your world.

This is a term that I have chosen to apply to the majority of individuals with this particular orientation in any given time framework within your physical reality. Most individuals choose this particular lens or this type of orientation, which I have expressed in the term of common.

SHELLEY: That means that I see the world in the way that most human beings here right now are seeing it.

ELIAS: Correct. And you....

SHELLEY: And someone whoís soft, what does he see differently? What does his lens do?

ELIAS: An individual that incorporates the orientation of soft shall be perceiving themselves and their world differently from you, for they do not incorporate a singularity of objective perception; they incorporate an objective and subjective. Therefore, they process information through the objective AND subjective awarenesses. In this, individuals that incorporate that orientation also experience much more of an objective awareness of their interconnectedness with other individuals and all of their world.

Whereas, an individual that incorporates the orientation of common focuses their attention more in relation to themselves and their individual world, which is comprised of individuals that they deem themselves to be close to or engage in relationships with, their work, their acquaintances, their individual experiences and the objective imagery that they present themselves with in the form of manifestations in actual physical presentments.

An individual that may be of the orientation of soft presents imagery to themselves in a different manner, not necessarily in solid form but more in association with experiences and expressions rather than actual forms.

(Phone call is disconnected at 1:37 PM, and Mary returns. Ben calls back and they resume at 1:42 PM.)

ELIAS: Continuing.

SHELLEY: Hi. Sorry

ELIAS: (Chuckles) You may continue.

SHELLEY: (To Ben) Whatís my next question, then?

BEN: Ask him whatís been going on with you.

SHELLEY: Can you help me out with a situation Iím in right now, with trying to get away from someone whoís maybe a soft Ė yeah? (Ben laughs) Ė who really doesnít want me to go, and thatís a complication. If you could shed some light on that? Do I need to give you more information?

ELIAS: What is the nature of your concern?

SHELLEY: Iím trying to get out of a marriage, and Iíd like to just understand a little bit about the dynamics of someone who thinks itís okay to stop someone else from being free, from doing what they want Ė which is me.

ELIAS: Ah, but no other individual may stop you from...

SHELLEY: No, no, I know, but Iím just curious if thereís something Iím not understanding or something about him maybe that you could enlighten me on.

ELIAS: And what is your curiosity concerning the other individual that you wish to be enlightened upon?

SHELLEY: I just donít understand him at all. I donít understand what he is, I donít understand... (phone makes high-pitched tones) Hello?

ELIAS: I am listening.

SHELLEY: What makes someone function like that?

ELIAS: In what capacity?

SHELLEY: In trying to block someone from getting away from them.

ELIAS: And how do you perceive that the individual is attempting to block you?

SHELLEY: Just by not giving me what I need to get out, by phoning seven times a day, by using children as a pawn in a game between two adults.

ELIAS: And what is your participation?

SHELLEY: My participation is wanting what he can give me, I suppose, as far as like a house and things like that, wanting that security that I think I deserve, and caring very much about what happens to the children and the effect that a divorce can have on them. The mistake I make is thinking Iím responsible for all that and that I have enough power to change what people think and do. I donít know. Does that make sense?


SHELLEY: I donít know. Perhaps Iím making other mistakes and I just donít realize it. Surely I have a bigger role in there than I realize.


Now; I may express to you, it is not a matter of mistakes. It is a matter of paying attention and recognizing what YOU are choosing and what YOU are creating, and not concerning yourself with what the other individual is creating or choosing and what their behavior is, for this is your creation. It is not the responsibility of the other individual to provide for you. It is your responsibility to create your reality, and you do.

Therefore if you are creating conflict with the other individual and generating expectations of the other individual, you are placing yourself in the role of victim. Therefore, YOU are choosing this and you are creating it. You also incorporate the power to change that creation, to alter your perception and to pay attention to you. As to concern of the children, this also is your creation. If you perceive them to be tremendously affected in association with your choices, so they shall be.

SHELLEY: No, actually I feel like theyíre really strong and Iím really surprised how theyíre really doing well with all this stuff. I just was hoping that there was some other way of seeing him, but no, I suppose itís just me. I just change the way I am, and they have their relationship that theyíll have with him.

ELIAS: Correct, and this is not your responsibility. This is their reality and what they choose to be engaging with the other individual and what the other individual chooses to be engaging with them.

What is your concern is what you are choosing, paying attention to your behavior and what you are actually doing, listening to YOUR inner communications that you offer to yourself, paying attention and allowing yourself to follow your own communications, and not limiting yourself to the expressions of the other individual.

SHELLEY: And not feeling guilty that my lover lives across the alley and...

ELIAS: It matters not. This is your choice, my friend, and there is no wrong expression in what you are choosing.

SHELLEY: You know what, Iím curious about all the different realities and all that. I was wondering if Albert and I have other existences or if thereís any connection otherwise?


SHELLEY: And what would that be?

ELIAS: You do share other focuses in this dimension and in other dimensions as well, more so in other dimensions than in this.

SHELLEY: And what are those, could you say?

ELIAS: Shall you not investigate and attempt to discover yourself? These are all aspects of you, and therefore they are quite available to you to be investigating and offering yourself information.

SHELLEY: So you want me to find out by myself, okay. What connection do I have with France?

ELIAS: You do incorporate other focuses in this physical dimension with this individual also.

BEN: I thought we were both in France.

SHELLEY: Thereís no specifics? (Elias laughs) Because I know the house already. Thereís a house where I went and I knew all the places and I knew all the ... I just had a whole story that came into my head when I went to this place.

ELIAS: And this is the significance of listening to your impressions, for these are your communications to yourself, which offer you information concerning your relationships with other individuals and information concerning yourself also.

SHELLEY: Is there a special reason why you come? Why did you come through Mary? Why do you speak to people? Is it because of the curiosity of the people? Or is it something that fulfills something for you or...?

ELIAS: Both.

SHELLEY: And what do you get out of it?

ELIAS: The interaction of participating in this shift in consciousness within your physical dimension and offering that participation to be lessening the trauma that may be associated with this shift in consciousness.

SHELLEY: You feel like youíre easing people into the change?

ELIAS: I am offering information. You are easing yourselves into this shift.

SHELLEY: So itís coming.

ELIAS: It is already...

SHELLEY: Can you tell me a little bit about my second son, like whatís his essence name and what is he about?

ELIAS: Essence name, Kam, K-A-M (KAM). Essence family, Sumari; alignment, Zuli; orientation, common.

SHELLEY: Anything else about him that you can tell me, or is there anything...?

ELIAS: What is the nature of your question?

SHELLEY: Well, heís very intriguing to me. I suppose heís not special, but heís someone who teaches me a lot and who always talks about being connected. Heís always saying, ďIím connected, Iím connected,Ē to different things. I read him the Seth stories for children and he said to me that he was really glad that someone said the truth. I think heís someone who ... I donít know. I was wondering if there was something that you could tell me that ... or maybe heís just normal. (Elias laughs) Maybe heís part of the people who are already eased into whatever.

ELIAS: Quite so. (Chuckles)

SHELLEY: Well, I donít know ... Ben, can you help me out?

BEN: I have met Shelleyís son, Tim. I guess Iíd have a hard time describing what makes him so unique; thatís why we were thinking that you might have something to add. I mean, he seems to be a very special young man in some way Ė not that everyone isnít special in some way.

ELIAS: I may express to you, some small ones express more openly their recognition of this shift than do others. This is not to say that what you term to be young individuals are not quite aware of the movement of this shift and quite aware of themselves in a different manner than were yourselves at similar ages, for they have chosen to be engaging this shift in consciousness in a time framework in which the subjective movement was almost accomplished. Therefore, more of their focus is directed in the objective insertion of this shift in their particular focuses.

Now; as I have stated, some of these individuals are more openly expressive of what they are aware of than others, and this is expressed in a combination of their environment and their individual personalities. If the individual expresses the type of personality that shall be naturally open in their awareness but they also experience a type of environment in which they perceive that this shall not be accepted by individuals surrounding them, they may be reluctant to express what they know in their reality.

This individual does not experience that particular obstacle, so to speak, for in the expression of his essence families he allows himself the freedom of that openness and does not restrict his knowing objectively in relation to other individuals, for he does not concern himself with the responses of other individuals, although infrequently in certain situations and time frameworks, he does express a slight reluctance to be expressing all that he is aware of. But for the most part he allows himself the freedom of his own expression and is not questioning of it.

Many, many, many other young individuals in this time framework are not questioning their objective knowing of themselves and of this shift in consciousness, but may not necessarily allow themselves the openness to be expressing it to other individuals, for the individuals around them are reluctant to be expressing openly or objectively what they are offering to themselves in information. It reinforces a question within small ones of whether it is acceptable to be freely expressing what they know.

SHELLEY: Iíd like to see about my lover, also. His name is Joel. Iíd like to know his essence name. (Pause)

ELIAS: Essence name, Rand, R-A-N-D (RAHND).

SHELLEY: And is he common?


SHELLEY: I may need to find it out for myself, but have we lived other things together also?


SHELLEY: But you donít have any information?

ELIAS: (Chuckles) I incorporate information, but I am encouraging YOU to discover this information yourself.

SHELLEY: Can you give me a lead?

ELIAS: I may express to you, you may investigate one focus that you incorporate in Italy.

SHELLEY: Can I ask you a question? I think that I had once an Italian lover who abandoned me when I was pregnant. It wasnít him, was it?

ELIAS: No Ė but you are correct.

SHELLEY: And heís much nicer now. So I think itís going to be the other way around.

BEN: Well, I have an impression about Shelley and me together. Do we share focuses where weíre both students going to the same school?


SHELLEY: Is it a religious school?


SHELLEY: And I was a man, right? (Pause)

ELIAS: A boy.

SHELLEY: Yeah? Okay, thatís cool.

BEN: Where was this?

ELIAS: Greece.

SHELLEY: So we were...? (Shelley and Ben laugh)

BEN: What time framework was this? Maybe we werenít Catholic.

ELIAS: (Chuckles) Sixteen-hundreds.

SHELLEY: We were Catholics.

BEN: (Laughs) We were Catholics! (Elias laughs)

SHELLEY: And what was going on around World War II?

ELIAS: (Laughs) In what capacity?

SHELLEY: Iím curious what role I was playing in that.

ELIAS: And what is your impression?

SHELLEY: Again religious. I donít know, sort of like the cold Ė not Nazi, because it wasnít Nazi, god forbid (Ben laughs) Ė but like sort of a cold-hearted priest or something like that. Itís something that bothers me. I donít know, thatís all I get, like this cold-hearted religious thing.

ELIAS: I am understanding. Not a priest and not...

SHELLEY: More a Rosicrucian, not really mainstream. Not necessarily Rosicrucian, and more French than German.

ELIAS: Correct. I may express to you that this individual incorporates strong religious beliefs and is quite rigid, but is not actually associated with the priesthood or actively involved in any position within the church, merely that the individual incorporates quite rigid expressions and incorporates tremendous judgments.

SHELLEY: Yes, that makes sense. Is it just because weíre realizing what we are, that life isnít a final destination... I donít know how to explain it. Is it because of all this that these other things are starting to seep through? Itís like all of a sudden these other realities for me seem to be just apparent.


SHELLEY: So everybodyís moving into that? Is there going to become a moment where weíre going to live openly with that? Will our eyes see differently, will our physical ... will it be necessary? Will it be natural for everything to be apparent at once? Or will the fact that we see all of this just meld everything into one big consciousness?

ELIAS: Your physical reality shall remain the same, but your awareness of yourselves shall be tremendously altered. Your awareness of other focuses that you incorporate...

SHELLEY: Will the focuses then just become one thing? It wonít be necessary to have different focuses, or do the focuses exist anyway? I donít know how to express that.

ELIAS: They are all you. You shall merely incorporate the awareness and knowing that they ARE all you.

SHELLEY: What else, Ben?

BEN: What do you want to know about what else is going on in your life?

SHELLEY: He doesnít seem to want to answer questions about it today. (Ben laughs) Not right now.

ELIAS: Ah! Not necessarily!

BEN: You have to ask the right questions, I guess.

SHELLEY: I just need advice.

BEN: I think Shelleyís trying to get a handle on her current creations, the current situation that sheís creating, her emotional communications to herself lately, the changes in her family life, her job life, her everything.

ELIAS: I am understanding. It is not I that chooses not to engage conversation or that in your terms does not want to converse with you. It is rather you that does not want to hear what is being expressed.

SHELLEY: No, no, no. Thatís not it. But okay, if you could help me get out of this situation it would be lovely. (Ben and Elias laugh) I feel like Iím at a completely blocked situation. I mean, you said earlier when I talked about my husband not giving me what I want, of course I can renounce everything and walk out the door and no one could find me again. But yet there are places that I want to go also in life that mean that I canít do that. It would mean cutting off relationships that I donít want to cut off, like with my children. It seems to me that other human beings CAN put sticks in your wheels, even though I know in theory thatís wrong. But I feel like Iím in a situation where thereís another human being whoís putting a stick in my wheel and not allowing me to go.

ELIAS: I am understanding what you are expressing and what you are feeling and what you are perceiving. What I am expressing to you is that you incorporate many more choices than the either/or.

Your choices are much more than leaving or disappearing, accepting an offering or not accepting an offering. You are viewing your situation and what you have created in quite black and white terms, and you do incorporate many more choices than merely these either/or choices. This is dependent upon how YOU direct yourself and whether you choose to be listening and paying attention to you or not, assuming responsibility for your choices, listening to what you want not what the other individual may do or may not do, but turning your attention to you and therefore offering yourself the opportunity to generate what you want and engage your creativity.

You feel trapped, and you are not.

SHELLEY: Yes. I feel legally trapped also. I feel like there are mistakes that can be made, and perhaps thatís an illusion also. I mean the fact that Iím still married and yet have a lover and the judgment from everybody around me Ė because everybody knows whatís going on Ė is heavy for me, and yet I also feel like in a legal way as far as divorce and everything, I feel like Iím making mistakes. Is that an illusion also? Because I can make a mistake. My husband has found out that I slept with another man in my bed and one of my sons came down and saw us, and in France legally thatís a very bad position to be in. Is it true that thatís a mistake or that in the end will truth triumph or ... you know what I mean? Can you have faith in always just going for what feels right?

ELIAS: Yes. And...

SHELLEY: And whatever the consequences of me this summer acting completely in a way which would be called hedonistic but which is really just seeking pleasure, that I shouldnít be afraid of the consequences, then?

ELIAS: There may not be consequences. This is dependent upon your perception and what you pay attention to. There are consequences only in this situation in which you concentrate on the beliefs that this is an absolute and that there are always consequences.

I express to you, there are no absolutes, and what you have generated is not wrong regardless of what your society expresses and regardless of what your partner may be expressing. These are expressions in association with their beliefs, and this in actuality has no bearing upon what you create.

The only manner in which it may incorporate a bearing is what you allow to be affecting of you. Therefore, if YOU are perceiving in similar manner to your society and to your partner, this is what you shall generate and create, and you shall create obstacles and difficulties.

But if you are genuinely paying attention to you, recognizing that this is not an illusion, (strongly) you do actually create all of your reality, every moment, every aspect of it, even the other individuals, you thusly incorporate the power to manipulate that in a manner in which you want, regardless of how impossible that may seem.

SHELLEY: But then why would I continually create this conflict?

ELIAS: THIS is the question!

SHELLEY: That is the question...

ELIAS: For you are choosing this.

SHELLEY: And I say to myself, I just want him to go away and he doesnít go away. Where does his free will come into it? Can you shed some light? Can you help me? Maybe thatís the whole key and...

ELIAS: The key is to not pay attention to the other individual.

SHELLEY: Just ignore him completely?

ELIAS: To pay attention to you. For YOU are creating this scenario. It may appear to you that the other individual is creating it, but YOU ARE CREATING IT. And the more that you create the perception that this individual is unreasonable or distasteful or angry or unacceptable, the more you generate that actual reality and you create it.

BEN: Can I jump in here? Is it really about not paying attention to what you think the other person is doing but what you THINK of what the other person is doing or how you feel about what the other person is doing?

ELIAS: It is significant to pay attention to your perception of what you think or feel or perceive the other individual to be generating and creating, for this offers you empowerment and it offers you choices, [and] thusly you may recognize that if this is what you perceive the other individual to be generating, this is what YOU are generating for them.

(Strongly) For as I have stated repeatedly, you are not directly interacting with the other person in physical form. You are directly interacting with their expression of energy, but YOU are configuring that into an actual physical manifestation.

SHELLEY: So he perceives the situation completely differently?

ELIAS: He may.

SHELLEY: Heís maybe not even fighting with me; maybe weíre together and weíre happy.

ELIAS: Perhaps. It is entirely possible. Your perceptions...

SHELLEY: Just by perceiving us two not together I can free myself finally from this energy that is him?

ELIAS: By paying attention to you and following what you want, rather than concerning yourself with what he is choosing.

SHELLEY: So he can choose to be with me?

ELIAS: If he is so choosing, yes. Your perceptions need not be the same. That does not negate each individualís reality.

SHELLEY: And so I want to be in a new place, my own house and starting over again. Then all I have to do is just perceive that and...

ELIAS: And allow yourself to generate that and not concern yourself with the choices of the other individual. Which, I am understanding my friend, the tremendous enormity of this as challenge, for it is quite unfamiliar. But the greater challenge is to allow yourself freedom and movement away from the familiar.

SHELLEY: Right. Thatís exactly what Iím searching for.

BEN: I donít know how long weíve been talking.

SHELLEY: No, me neither. Thatís about all I needed to know. So thank you very much!

ELIAS: You are very welcome, my friend. I am quite encouraging of you, and I shall be offering energy to you that you may allow yourself this freedom. It is your greatest gift to yourself.

SHELLEY: Thank you, Elias.

ELIAS: You are quite welcome. Accept from myself my affection and my fondness, and hold this with you in energy that it may be encouraging to you in your challenge futurely. But also remember, what occurs within the future is shaped in today, in the now. Therefore, pay attention to now.

SHELLEY: Okay, I will.

ELIAS: Very well, my friend.

SHELLEY: Au revoir.

ELIAS: Au revoir.

Elias departs at 2:18 PM.

< Previous session | Go to the top | Next session >

© 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.