Thursday, March 07, 2002
ďHelpfulness to ChildrenĒ
Participants: Mary (Michael) and Jane.
Elias arrives at 2:08 PM. (Arrival time is 26 seconds.)
ELIAS: Good day!
JANE: Good day!
JANE: How are you?
ELIAS: As always, and yourself?
JANE: Iím doing actually very well. (Elias chuckles)
ELIAS: And how shall we proceed?
JANE: I have a lot of questions on a bunch of different levels, and I guess I just wanted to have an interaction about it. My questions concern some of the channeling Iíve been doing, questions about my kids, questions about where to take my psychic business, and just anything that you can tell me.
ELIAS: Very well, begin.
JANE: Letís see. I think right now Iím in kind of a strange space around relationships. I had this man just drop out of my life overnight, and Iím not sure why I did this to myself. Then I find my kids being Ė one of them Ė in a very bad situation and very depressed, and I donít know how to help him get out of it. Itís been very hard for me. So relationships around me have been very difficult.
ELIAS: And what is your impression concerning the creation that you have generated in relation to the romantic relationship?
JANE: My impression? It feels like part of me is sad and part of me is all right about it, and then another part of me is extremely neutral, like I donít ever want to be in a relationship again, romantically. So I feel very mixed. Thatís how I feel.
ELIAS: Very well.
Now; I may express to you that the emotion of sadness is offering you a communication, but this is not concerning the relationship itself or the other individual but expressing a message to yourself concerning your denial of yourself of what you may or may not allow yourself to be expressing outwardly. For the other individual has generated a choice and thusly in that choice your association is that you are now being denied your choices, for the individual has dictated your choices for you. This generates an emotion of sadness, for in moments that you are expressing a denial of your own choices, you identify this through this particular emotion.
Now; as to the other expressions that you are experiencing in association with relationships, I may express to you this is quite understandable, for you are allowing yourself a time framework in which you are turning your attention more fully to you and allowing yourself to become much more familiar with you and your energy flow and your expressions and generating what you want rather than concerning yourself with a relationship in a romantic expression with another individual.
Now; in association with the individual that you identify as your son, this is a different expression. I may express to you quite genuinely, the most helpful expression of energy that you may offer to this individual is to be accepting, and the manner in which you may accomplish that is to be genuinely turning your attention to you.
Now; I am quite aware of the challenge that is presented in that action, for it is an automatic response to project your attention to the other individual, but this is not helpful. You may be paying attention and noticing what the other individual is generating but also simultaneously hold your attention upon yourself and YOUR choices, not his choices. For as you continue to project your attention and concern yourself with his choices, what you generate is judgment, wanting to fix, wanting to alter his expression, and this is expressed in what appears to you to be compassion, in your definition of compassion. But I may express to you, genuine compassion is understanding, and if you are genuinely understanding, you also shall not generate an expression to be altering the other individualís choices but rather accepting.
Now; in holding your attention upon you, what you generate outwardly is an accepting energy and also providing an example, which in actuality is much more affecting and helpful than any action you may engage in interaction with the other individual.
You all within your physical dimension receive, interpret, understand and pay attention to energy expressions much more clearly and immediately than any expression of language or even actions. Therefore, the individual shall pay attention to and receive your energy expression as an example in paying attention to you much more clearly than any other action that you may attempt to engage with this individual.
Many times individuals generate what you identify as an expression of depression in your terms, for they are unclear concerning their choices and they are doubtful of their abilities to generate their own choices in what they want; therefore, they express a type of helplessness objectively. What offers them a clearer recognition that they themselves actually do incorporate the ability to generate choices and create what they want is in viewing other individuals that allow themselves that type of expression. For in viewing other individuals as an example, the individual begins to examine themselves and question their ability to generate what they want and experiment, [and] even what you term to be small experimentations with allowing themselves choices reinforces step by step their trust of themselves. Therefore, this in actuality may be your greatest expression of helpfulness to this individual.
Many times doing is not helpful. Many times not doing is more helpful. Are you understanding?
JANE: Yes, I am understanding. I am recognizing the difficulty of what is helpful and what is not for a 13-year-old. Heís flunking everything. Iím trying to get him to generate ideas and thoughts and feelings for himself, and there seems to be a little bit of that. But heís sort of lying a lot and I donít know how to go with that. To just give up? It feels bad; it feels like giving up to just let that be.
ELIAS: I am aware of the beliefs and the associations that are generated in relation to the beliefs and those associated with your role as a parent and your association with responsibility concerning this individual and your association of beliefs concerning his role as the child. But let me express to you quite genuinely, individuals do not generate behaviors if they do not receive a payoff.
JANE: Right. (Laughs) Thatís true.
ELIAS: Therefore, a behavior that you may view as undesirable may continue to be expressed as it continues to receive a payoff. (Pause) In paying attention to you and your choices and what YOU want, you shall automatically discontinue offering the payoff.
In this, as I express to you to turn your attention to you, attempt to allow yourself to practice within your thoughts eliminating the other individual from the scenario and merely paying attention to you and what YOU want Ė not what you want the other individual to express, not what you want the other individual to do or how you want the other individual to behave Ė what YOU want. What do YOU want to express? What do YOU want to be generating?
For, you may not create the choices for the other individual. You may continue to attempt, but in actuality what are you actually generating within yourself? Are you altering the other individualís choices? No. Are you altering the other individualís expressions? No. What you are creating is frustration within yourself. What you are creating is allowing another individual to dictate to you your responses and your choices, and in this scenario, he does not merely become a victim to himself, but you become a victim to him also. And what do you view in this scenario as helpful?
JANE: The one thatís current? (Elias chuckles) Well, I donít know what I think is helpful. We get to figure out how to be a family, I suppose.
ELIAS: What do you genuinely want to be expressing? You genuinely want to be expressing affection, lovingness, playfulness and fun outwardly in relation to this individual.
ELIAS: You are denying yourself those expressions and are allowing this individual to dictate to you your choices. For the individual generates certain expressions and behaviors, and in those expressions and behaviors you express an automatic response which is not playful, is not fun, and is not affection. This, once again, creates an emotional communication within you of sadness, for you are denying your choices. For you are expressing inwardly to yourself, ďI cannot be playful with this individual; I cannot be affectionate with this individual; I cannot express fun with this individual, for the individual is choosing these expressions which now dictate to me what I must be expressing in response.Ē And the circle continues. (Pause)
Whereas, in paying attention to you and offering yourself permission to generate what YOU want regardless of what the other individual is expressing, you shall be influencing of the situation, and the expressions shall change. (Pause)
JANE: Is that what went wrong with my romance? We had such a happy situation and then he just had a brain freeze. Our relationship shut down and disappeared, and it felt very strange. I didnít know what went wrong.
ELIAS: I may express to you, my friend, in your terms, nothing went wrong. (Chuckles) In actuality, you are generating a different movement. You are, as I have expressed, moving in a direction of turning your attention more fully to yourself and allowing yourself to create what YOU want, and also you have distracted yourself with assuming personal responsibility for other individuals. But I am acknowledging of you that you would not be engaging conversation with myself in this present now were you not generating a movement in the direction of turning your attention to you. (Pause) And this in itself is quite a challenge and requiring much of your attention. You have chosen not to be distracting yourself with outside interactions other than what you view within your beliefs to be necessary. (18-second pause)
Once again, do not concern yourself with the expression of the other individual, for it matters not. What holds significance is what YOU are creating and what YOU are generating within your movement.
JANE: One of the things that happened, I was telling Mary that Iíve been having all these really big grand visions. Theyíve been really big, very grand visions! And I really like them. Iíve been trying to stay there and get excited about all the exciting neat things that could be done next and what would be fun to do next.
I really am excited about all that, and I guess I still, though, have that little voice that edits it and wants to get realistic and all those other things. I suppose I wanted to bounce that off because I guess I would like to give myself more courage or more permission, like you were saying, to be all right with the visions, and was wondering if they are realistic or if theyíre just a pointer or whether they are real. Do you have any insight for me?
ELIAS: These directions that you are toying with, so to speak, are quite attainable and quite real. I may express to you, the reason that you are generating these expressions is an evidence that you ARE turning your attention more to you and allowing yourself to examine your abilities and what you actually may generate in association with what you want.
You may express that you have visions of grandeur, but they are quite real, my friend, and I shall be acknowledging of you and encouraging of you to allow yourself to trust you and that you do incorporate the ability to be generating any of these actions and that you may be creating all of what you want. It is merely requiring of your own trust of yourself.
JANE: Itís interesting because... No, itís not; I guess weíre all very interesting to ourselves. (Laughs) But I have always wanted to broadcast. Iíve always wanted to be out there in the spotlight. Itís a very interesting space, because sometimes when I read Ė I read a lot of interesting and great things that get generated from extremely wonderful people who channel like Mary and others Ė I get very excited about it and I say to myself somebody needs to... I donít know, I just have always wanted to be... Iím on the radio and then Iím thinking, ďOh, is this on TV?Ē You know, I get all excited. Then I ask myself, ďWhat is this with me? Why do I need to do that?Ē Iím not that interested in teaching. When I do a class Iím like, ďWell, whatever you want, thatís fine.Ē Do you know what I mean? Teaching doesnít seem to be my thing.
ELIAS: I am understanding.
JANE: Yet I seem to always want to be in front of everybody and then I get embarrassed about that. I think, ďWhatís with me, whatís my problem?Ē (Elias chuckles) I guess I knock on doors and go, ďAm I all right? Am I?Ē (Elias laughs) ďYou do have a problem!Ē
ELIAS: I may express to you, you are quite all right, in your terms!
JANE: Yeah, I think, ďWhat is my problem?Ē
ELIAS: Acknowledge yourself.
JANE: I have such admiration for people who are, you know, they are so wise and they do such wonderful work. All I want to do is shout and yell and scream and be out there. Itís very strange!
ELIAS: Ha ha! Not quite so strange. You do incorporate a propensity for fun.
JANE: Yes, yes.
ELIAS: And therefore why shall you not generate this type of action?
JANE: All right. Good! (Elias laughs) Thatís always what feels right; it always feels best and needed. I actually donít like teaching. I donít really want to know. Iím kind of like, well whatever. Interesting. I appreciate the okayness of it, I suppose.
ELIAS: You are quite all right. And as I have stated, I also am encouraging of you to continue and allow yourself permission to express what you want and to generate this in the manner which is a natural flow with your energy, which is playful. (Pause)
Do not bog yourself with alignments of mass beliefs in association with how you SHOULD be expressing yourself or how you should be appearing to be responsible. There is no expression of irresponsibility in playfulness.
JANE: Do you feel like I will eventually get back to be more interested in generating a really good romance, a meaningful relationship Ė and I want to use the word ďfinallyĒ (laughs) Ė in my life? Or is the fact that Iíve just tuned that off and Iím not interested in it, does that mean that Iíve moved past it and itís just nothing that Iíll go back to revisit?
ELIAS: Not necessarily. I may express to you these are choices. What you are generating in this now may alter within your choices futurely, but they are merely choices. It is not a question of destiny or fate or absolutes, that if you are generating these types of choices in this now that you shall absolutely be moving into an expression of not concerning yourself with generating a romantic relationship. You may or you may not futurely and it matters not, for these are choices that you generate in moments.
You do not move in directions within your focus in absolutes, that if you are choosing this direction now you shall continue for the duration of your focus Ė no, not necessarily. You are generating specific movement in this now to be expressing a specific direction. In this now you are turning your attention to you to acknowledge yourself, to become more familiar with yourself, to generate an intimacy with you which allows you an expression of trust and acceptance of yourself, which thusly you shall allow yourself to outwardly generate manifestations of what you individually want. Once you have allowed yourself this time framework to be expressing an intimacy with yourself, you may or may not choose to be engaging a romantic relationship and an expression of intimacy with another individual.
What holds significance, my friend, is not concerning yourself with the future but paying attention to the now and allowing yourself to generate your fullest value fulfillment now. (Pause) I may express to you quite genuinely, the more familiar you become with you and the more you allow yourself to generate an intimacy with you, the more you allow yourself a greater capacity to be accepting and intimate with another individual.
JANE: Okay, thatís interesting. The relationship I had, I guess one of the really big sore points was he was so very unaware of most of what was going on with him that he sort of broke down, if you will, and then Iím angry. So I think thatís interesting that I get to look at that issue.
ELIAS: But this has been a reflection that you have offered to yourself in offering yourself information concerning the direction you wish to be moving into in generating this intimacy with yourself.
JANE: That sounds like fun. (Elias chuckles) Is there anything else you can tell me, just in general?
ELIAS: This is quite a broad expression! Ha ha ha! And what is your curiosity?
JANE: Oh, I donít know. Is there any particular purpose? I know that itís all choice, but I get a lot of clients asking this and sometimes I ask myself what was my intent when I came here, what was it I wanted to do? Is there any particular flavor that I wanted to deal with here? Is that something that you can tell?
ELIAS: Now; let me express to you first of all, individuals Ė you are correct Ė are continuously questioning their purpose. And I shall express to you as I have many times previously with many other individuals, your purpose, so to speak, is merely to be experiencing, to be exploring in this physical manifestation. This is one attention of yourself, yourself as essence, as consciousness. This particular focus is one attention. You as essence incorporate numberless attentions and each attentionís purpose, so to speak, is merely to explore, to explore itself, what it may creatively generate.
Now; I shall express to you also, each focus of attention in this physical dimension does incorporate an individual unique intent. This is a general direction of exploration that you as an individual choose within your focus.
Now; the intent, as I have stated, is a general direction, not necessarily a purpose or a mission but a general direction. Within that you generate countless choices throughout your focus in specific expressions of that direction. The manner in which you allow yourself to discover what your intent is within your focus is to allow yourself to view the entirety of your focus, not merely now but the experiences you have generated throughout the entirety of your focus, and allow yourself to view the theme.
Every individual generates a theme within their focus, a general direction of experiences, a general motivation so to speak, or a general ideal, in a manner of speaking. This is not imagination. Whether you view that you have accomplished that ideal or that you have even generated it matters not, for throughout your focus you ARE generating experiences that allow you to explore different expressions and aspects of that theme or that ideal, so to speak.
I may express to you, the greatest evidence of each individualís intent is expressed in what you naturally generate without thinking. What you consistently naturally generate throughout your focus is the greatest expression of evidence in identifying what your intent is.
Look to the entirety of your focus. In all of your memory of all of your years within this particular focus, what do you view that you consistently naturally generate? (Pause) I may express to you, you consistently naturally generate performance; you consistently naturally generate entertainment. (Pause) Do you not?
JANE: Yes. Even if itís really ... even drama. (Laughing)
ELIAS: Quite, quite. And it matters not whether you are engaging other individuals, for you generate entertainment with yourself.
JANE: Yes. Yes, I canít keep a television, because I just watch it (Elias laughs), which is ridiculous.
ELIAS: This is the manner in which you allow yourself to discover the general theme which is the intent of your focus, and once discovering the general intent or theme... Which for you individually is to explore all of the manners in which you may generate entertainment in relation to yourself and at times in relation to other individuals, how creatively you may express in any moment a manner in which you may be entertaining of yourself.
Now; you generate much more specific directions of that intent with specific experiences, but they all follow that general intent.
JANE: Well, thatís all right. If I kind of know that, then I wonít worry about the things I want to do.
ELIAS: Correct. I may express to you, my friend, you incorporate a tremendous creativity in this intent, for you allow yourself to entertain yourself even at times with conflicts.
JANE: Yes. (Elias laughs) Thatís over! (Elias laughs with Jane) Iím done doing that! Yeah, itís interesting.
ELIAS: And in this you do incorporate quite a playful nature.
JANE: Yes, and it seems to be best. It just seems to be most fun and everything is all right when I stay there. I think thatís why I needed to move 17 states away from my family and everybody just to be by myself because whenever I get connected into that again everything just gets icky.
ELIAS: For you quite easily express personal responsibility for other individuals.
JANE: Yes, and itís hard. Itís just easier not to have to hang out there and be by myself. (Elias chuckles) Itís nice, itís been working out well, I think, for me. I like it this way.
Do you have any hints for me, because I would really, really like to be a great psychic. I mean, we have a lot of fun and I have great clients, and I always want to even do better than I can. I know itís just getting rid of obstacles or my own fears and things like that. I wondered if you had any hints for me personally?
ELIAS: Your greatest movement shall be in trust, for you do allow yourself to tap into the energy expressions of other individuals but you also discount yourself in what you offer to yourself.
You allow yourself to exercise your empathic sense quite well, but you also at times doubt your ability and discount the information that you offer to yourself. You question whether you are expressing some information in relation to imagination, which let me express to you, imagination is quite real. This is an avenue of communication, and all that you may express in this particular communication to yourself is quite real. You have merely created beliefs that express to you that it is not real and that imagination is fantasy. It is not. As bizarre as some of your expressions of imagination may appear to be, within the genuine expression of consciousness and its vastness, there is no expression that your imagination offers to you that is not real.
But in interaction with other individuals, what you are allowing yourself to be creating is an actual empathic mergence which allows you the recognition of other individualsí experiences. Therefore, trust this inner sense and trust yourself that you are genuinely allowing yourself to be creating this mergence and experiencing what the other individual is generating or even what other aspects of consciousness are generating, not necessarily another individual.
JANE: I got this odd channeling last week and it was all about zeros and ones, and it was really cool! But I wish I could have done a better job with it.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Merely allow yourself to relax and trust what you are generating in the moment. As you continue with that action, you shall allow yourself more and more of an openness, which in your terms you view to be better. In actuality, it is merely different. Ha ha!
JANE: Iím pretty sure where I block myself. I mean Iím not sure, but I feel them, and I think most of the time I just think everybody else is so much better at this, this is silly.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! Not necessarily.
JANE: But I try to stay fun; it is fun. This is interesting. But it was wild with this thing, it was about zero and oneness and zeroness. It was complicated and so I struggled with it. I posted it on my internet group and then I felt really bad because I donít think anyone liked it or understood it. Oh, well. (Laughs)
ELIAS: And I may express to you, my friend, this is the point in trusting yourself and accepting of yourself and your expressions, rather than generating judgment of yourself.
JANE: Yes, thatís how it feels.
ELIAS: In actuality, the communication you have offered yourself moves quite in conjunction with the present movement of this shift in consciousness.
JANE: They said they were Speakers, and I thought that was interesting. They seemed to know a lot about math. So it was interesting. Well thank you, I appreciate it.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome.
JANE: I think sometimes you want to check in and just make sure that youíre all right.
ELIAS: Ha ha ha! I am quite understanding. (Chuckles)
JANE: Were there any last things I should know before we let Mary go, I guess?
ELIAS: Merely to be noticing, my friend. This is your greatest tool. Allow yourself to practice holding your attention upon you rather than concerning yourself with other individuals. Be remembering, you create all of your reality, even the other individuals within it.
JANE: Iíd like to stop creating asses, that would be very nice! (Elias chuckles) I appreciate it. Thank you very much.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome. I am greatly encouraging of you. Continue in your playfulness, my friend.
JANE: Thank you. I will!
ELIAS: Ha ha! And I shall offer my expression of playful energy to you also that you may look for. (Chuckles)
JANE: That sounds wonderful!
ELIAS: Merely remember that my signature is blue.
JANE: All right, blue! (Both laugh) I will notice! Iím very much looking forward to that, thank you.
ELIAS: You are tremendously welcome. In great affection to you and in anticipation of our next meeting, au revoir.
JANE: Au revoir.
Elias departs at 3:09 PM.
© 2002 Mary Ennis, All Rights Reserved.