JOANNE: “... I wanted to talk about the mirror. I guess I better lay some groundwork here.
Recently I was thinking about losing weight and how I could accomplish that. I thought about beginning to do things that I wanted to do and not worry so much about dieting and exercise but just start doing things that I want to do and I would lose weight. Then I started to notice around me – mostly with my husband Jim, but with other people also – other people were losing weight and they were doing things that I would like to do. I knew in the mirror that it was trying to show me that this is a possibility, that I can create this.
But at the same time, the feeling in my stomach was this huge ‘I can’t.’ I kept looking at it, and I felt like I was standing in front of a mirror and on one side of the mirror it was happening, but to objectively do it I just had this huge ‘I can’t,’ and I don’t know what to do with that. I’ve seen it in a few other areas of my life too, where the mirror is showing me that things are possible and yet I have this huge feeling of ‘I can’t.’ I was wondering if you could give me a hint as to where to take this, the next step.
ELIAS: Very well. It is significant that you are allowing yourself an objective recognition and understanding of the reflection that you are offering to yourself and you are noticing that you are generating this mirror action to be validating to yourself that you do hold the ability to be generating this type of action. It is also significant that you allow yourself to notice your communication to yourself in relation to what you are actually generating and expressing to yourself, that you cannot, and therefore denying your choice to yourself.
Now; what you may practice in action is in the moment that you recognize that you are expressing to yourself that you cannot, allow yourself to stop, notice, relax, and intentionally express to yourself permission to do, regardless that you are simultaneously expressing to yourself that you cannot. In that moment, offer yourself objectively permission to generate a choice regardless of the expression of ‘I cannot.’ Once you offer yourself permission to generate the choice of ‘I can,’ even in the expression of continued doubt, allow yourself to incorporate a brief action in physically generating a choice of what you want to express, even though you continue to doubt your ability to generate it.
What you are expressing, my friend, is a noticing and a recognition that you do incorporate an ability to appreciate yourself, and you reflect this outwardly through the imagery of other individuals. But as you turn your attention to you, you automatically express, ‘I cannot offer this expression to myself; I cannot generate this expression in association with myself.’ What you are expressing that you cannot generate is a genuine appreciation of yourself.
Therefore, in the moment that you notice, incorporate this exercise in what you may term to be even small expressions of allowing yourself permission to generate an expression of appreciation of you physically in that moment. What you shall be accomplishing in this type of action is to be recognizing and acknowledging that you do incorporate certain beliefs, and you shall not be attempting to eliminate those beliefs or ignoring them but rather acknowledging their existence and choosing to move or manipulate your choices around them, so to speak. In this, as you continue these steps, so to speak, in acknowledgment of yourself, this shall become more and more familiar, and this obstacle that expresses to you ‘I cannot’ shall become less and less forceful.
Now; what am I expressing to you in acknowledging an appreciation of yourself? In a moment that you are recognizing and noticing that you are expressing to yourself ‘I cannot,’ stop, objectively offer yourself permission to express ‘I can,’ and express an appreciation of yourself – not merely within thoughts. Incorporate some action in that moment that is a demonstration of your appreciation of self. Offer yourself a gift. Incorporate some action that is acknowledging of you, that is appreciating of you. This may be expressed in a few moments. You may choose, in your terms, to indulge yourself in any action that generates preference and pleasure within you.
This shall be sufficiently distracting to allow you to discontinue concentrating upon the expression of ‘I cannot’ and it shall also offer you a reinforcement in acceptance of yourself, and this shall dissipate the expression of ‘I cannot.’
JOANNE: I’ll go with that. ‘I can’t’ was like really strong and I had no idea what to do with it; but all of the imagery, the people around me were saying, ‘You can! I can – you can!’ and that huge ‘I can’t.’ I just had no idea what to do, so thank you.
ELIAS: You are quite welcome, my friend. You may choose in the moment to be appreciating of your being in an action of allowing yourself to relax within a bath. You may offer yourself a gift of chocolate. You may choose to be incorporating a walk and appreciating your connection with a flower. It matters not, but allow yourself an actual physical expression of appreciation of yourself.
JOANNE: This is going to be a fun exercise.
ELIAS: Quite!” (Chuckles) [session 1030, March 09, 2002]
Exercises: removing obstacles.
Exercises: enjoy a bike ride.
Exercises: blow bubbles.
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