ONIX: “When I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and I stare at myself, I think that I’m staring at another person, it’s not me, and then I fear this image in the mirror. I’m afraid. I think this person in the mirror is making fun of me or is judging me or it’s not me, so I become afraid. Why is this? Why am I creating this experience?
ELIAS: For this is what you are creating within. You ARE judging yourself. You ARE discounting of yourself. In this, you also generate anger in relation to self, and let me express to you, my friend, anger is an expression of a lack of choices. As you express anger, what you are creating in the moment is a lack of viewing any of your choices, which you thusly associate yourself as a victim of yourself.
ONIX: So it means that I’m not doing what I really want to do, what I chose to do? I’m not working for that, so that’s why I’m blaming myself and I’m judging myself?
ELIAS: This is merely an aside, so to speak. This is objective imagery that you are generating to reflect what you are expressing inwardly. I may express to you, the core issue in this situation is how you perceive yourself and that you perceive yourself to be inadequate and of little worth, and you devalue yourself. You view yourself to be in some manners – not all, but some manners – inadequate physically in what you assess as attractive. You also reinforce this discounting of yourself in expressing to yourself that you are inadequate in learning capacity.
ONIX: How can I change that?
ELIAS: By paying attention to you and by practicing acknowledging yourself.
I may express to you first of all an exercise that may allow you to become more familiar with your expressions, for you shall not alter your expressions if you are not noticing what they are. Therefore, the exercise that I shall offer to you is that you incorporate a time framework, and each day within that time framework pay attention to ALL of your expressions, NOTICE each time that you express any words, any thoughts, any feelings that discount yourself. Note them, and allow yourself to view how frequently you engage this type of expression within each day.
Now; once you offer yourself a time framework in which you may be noticing your expressions of discounting yourself, you may begin to offer yourself a choice of a different action, and in this, you may alter the exercise, and in altering the exercise, incorporate a time framework in which each day you allow yourself to notice each time you acknowledge yourself.
Now; I may assure you initially that the first exercise shall present you with many more examples than the second exercise, but be of good cheer, my friend, for this is a tremendous opportunity. For in the second exercise, regardless of how few or infrequent you notice your expression of acknowledging of yourself, you shall present to yourself some expressions, and this is significant. For once you present to yourself even a very few acknowledgments, you may choose to continue to practice expressing those rather than continuing to express the discounting.
It is significant that you allow yourself to recognize the times in which you do acknowledge yourself, for this validates you and this offers you the opportunity to pay attention to the experience of acknowledging yourself. You are quite familiar with the experience of discounting yourself. But you are not quite familiar with the experience of validating yourself and reinforcing yourself, and as you allow yourself to notice, you offer yourself a beginning point in which to practice.
ONIX: Okay, thank you.” [session 931, October 19, 2001]
Exercises: see also noticing nonacceptance.
Exercises: see also pay attention to self.
Exercises: see also STOP: focus your attention in the now.
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